Cycles and gear

I'm starting to notice a cycle in my life with Calvin. A few weeks ago, I was feeling pretty miserable - burned out, tired physically and mentally, feeling stretched thin, irritable and sad. This last for a couple of weeks. Toby and I thought about different ways to help relieve some of this for me. Getting out during the day, Toby taking Calvin for a walk when he gets home from work, starting to feed Calvin solid foods to give me some more time. We even talked about a nanny and if that was financially possible.

In the end, I think it mostly helpful just to talk about how I was feeling and have someone recognize that I was pretty pooped. Eventually, after a couple of weeks of being gentle to myself and following some of the ayurvedic suggestions for my diet and relaxation, the feelings passed and now I'm feeling more energetic and much more able to be present for Calvin and Toby. This cycle happened before a couple of months ago, so I'm thinking it may happen again. I'm glad to have some tools and mindfulness around it now so that perhaps when the feelings come again, I will be more able to take care of myself instead of swim around for so long in the feelings.

Calvin is doing so well. I'm amazed at how happy he is most of the time. I don't know why I should be shocked. But I think we're doing a pretty good job of helping him feel secure and soothed and happy. I think sleeping in the same bed really makes a difference. One of the best parts of my day is waking up and seeing Calvin's smiling face looking up at me. Or, I see him rolling over and grabbing for Toby - hitting him on the back to wake him up. I love it. I also think because we're holding him a lot and I'm nursing him when he 'asks' for it, he's beginning to trust us and trust himself when it comes to getting his needs met.

I also wonder if the elimination communication is helping him feel good and right. We had an exciting week with that...two new pieces of EC 'gear' came in the mail.

A diaper belt:

This is a great way to quickly tell if he's wet. And, it's easy to flip down the front of the diaper and 'pee' him. Lately we've been peeing out in the yard. He really seems to enjoy watching birds and leaves. Maybe it relaxes him so he can pee?

I also splurged and got these fancy EC pants:

So these are really trim - trimmer than dipes, so they're hopefully more comfortable for him - and there's a belt that keeps them on and then the front can be whisked off to pee him and easily velcroed back on. I've only used them once. They hold one pee, and then have to be washed again. But if I get better at catching his pee cues, then hopefully they could last hours!

This is the excitment of my days.

Here's some cute ones of Calvin on his little potty:

Good day for EC

I had some minor successes today with Calvin and our EC. I really want to have him out of diapers as much as I can when we're just around the house. It requires my full attention, so sometimes it just doesn't happen. But today, because I have a bum toe (ingrown toenail surgery) and am trying to take it easy, I kept him diaperless for a looong time today. He played on the floor and if I noticed his cues for pee, which is usually fussing, I put him over the potty. He's been really resisting the potty recently. Not sure why. He arches his back and cries. Sometimes he'll calm down and then pee. Other times I hear that body language as 'I don't have to pee - put me down!'

I also put him in the sling today with a couple of cloth diapers under him and he didn't pee on me! Yes! Then I got brave and tried to put him in the high chair with the diapers under him. He peed and I didn't notice any cue. Ah well. The misses help me learn!

I feel like I'm getting better about noticing his poo cues. Today he pooed a LOT. And I caught almost all of them.

He also did one naked nap today. I missed his waking up pee...I think I took too long getting up to him.

So I'd say a successful day for EC! We'll see how tomorrow goes.

Baby changes everything...even the blog

So if you follow this blog, you'll notice I've got a new look and theme these days. Not surprising, I'm sure. I hope you'll enjoy the new twist and my ramblings and ravings about being a mom. I want to give folks an idea of the realities of motherhood - the intensity of my love for Calvin, the way Toby and I are handling an addition to our family, the tiredness, the laughter, the tears...you get it.

I also want to share my experiences of practicing infant potty training with Calvin. It's something we've been doing since he was 3 months old. To fill those of you in who may not have heard of this, which I assume is many of you, infant potty training, also called "elimination communication (EC)," is a way of tuning in to one's child in order to learn their cues or ways of communicating that they have to pee or poop. Many "experts" say that kids don't do this until age 2. This just isn't true. Kids do give cues and let you know when they need to go. I think we don't give babies enough credit for their ability to communicate and learn. It has been an incredible process for me of really "listening" to Calvin and paying attention to his patterns, his different cries, his body language...all of it. Not just the elimination communication, but also his communication about his other needs. I found that when I tuned in to watch for potty cues, I started to learn more and more about how he tells me what he needs. I have been so amazed at Calvin's ability to let me know what's going on with his body. Toby was mighty impressed with this whole thing. He really wasn't on board at first and thought it would be too hard to "catch" pees and poos. But after a week of trying it and me showing him that I could catch some pees - Toby hasn't looked back.

So it isn't necessarily potty training as you may normally think of it. I first began noticing when Calvin peed or pooped in his diaper and then began to offer him a chance to go in the toilet or sink at those times. For example, I figured out that he would pee and poop every morning upon waking. I had a bowl right beside the bed, and when he woke up, I'd hold him over the bowl and when he peed, I would say 'Peeeee' and when he pooped, I would say 'Poo Poo.' Eventually, he seemed to understand that when I held him over a potty, sink, bowl and said either of the cue words, he could release.

Now, sometimes I think he has to go, and he doesn't. Other times, well, most of the time, I miss his pees and poops. I don't have any goals in mind for getting him "trained" by a certain point. I just really love the idea that I can help Calvin pee and poop away from his body more and more. Many kids whose parents use EC don't become what EC folks call "potty independent" until around the same time that kids who are potty trained in the typical way do, maybe around 2 years old. Some are readier earlier. The one thing I would love is to get Calvin out of diapers sooner rather than later. But I'm trying to hold that loosely and not get obsessed with it as a goal.

So - I'll be talking about that here because I love to share about it and haven't really found anyone in my circle of mommy friends who's into it. I'd love to hear your thoughts as you read about it all. If you want to know more about EC, check out the links on this page.

Well, it's been a long day...hiking in Rocky Mountain National Park with Toby, Calvin and Toby's dad, David. And then to a rodeo. Holy cow. I highly recommend going to one if you can. It was awesome!!

Nighty night